Please dont kill me for this.
This is a list of my own observations of why the modern God is bullshit.

1. In the Bible it states in MANY areas, that if you pray to God, your prayer WILL be answered, and yet, how many prayers are ACTUALLY answered? Is there a rulebook somewhere on how to pray properly that no one has seen? Does God pick favourites? Why is it that when I pray for cancer to be gone, absolutely NOTHING happens? I dont know anyone who is a cancer patient, so it isn’t a selfish wish; I’m SURE hundreds of people have wished for the same thing, so why does cancer still exist? I’m sure that of ALL PEOPLE, GOD would have the power to do that sort of thing.

2. If “Thou Shalt Not Kill” is the golden rule of Christianity, why are there so many holy wars? What was the crusades? Islam has the same God, it says the same thing, why are there SO MANY religious wars, if NO ONE IS FOLLOWING THE RULES OF THE RELIGION? Sure, spread the word of God, whatever, but it seems kind of counter productive if “saving people” involves breaking one of the key guidelines of the religion you’re spreading. You arent setting a very good example for future converts. If murder is a sin that can get you sent to hell, then why would you risk your eternal soul saving people who dont want to be “saved” in the first place?

3. The followers of Christ are Christians. Christianity is the most prominant religion on the planet with as many sects, as the chinese language has characters. Christianity is THE religion. If you arent Christian, you’re sent to hell. Jesus Christ was jewish. Did jesus get sent to hell? I seriously doubt it. Jews arent Christian, but they follow the same God as Christians do. Muslims follow the same God as Christians do, and yet according to all the Christians, they get sent to hell. If Christians are the followers of CHRIST who was a JEWISH prophet, wouldn’t that make all Christians Jewish? I digress. Regardless, Christianity didn’t arise until after Jesus was dead. Did every single human being before the year 33 AD go to hell for not believing that Jesus was our savior? Was that THEIR fault? Jesus didn’t exist until then, and he only existed for 33 years in the middle east. Surely the Jews that were there BEFORE Jesus were saved, right? They DID follow God, and God can’t just turn his back on the Jewish faith just because he added a new factor, that would be WAY too human for a surpreme being such as Him. Therefore Jews AND Christians are saved. But What about Muslims? They believe that Jesus was a powerful holy man. THEY follow God. Don’t THEY get saved as well? If God is All Loving and All Knowing, why would He “create” a person with love, if he knew that they were not going to believe in Him? If he knew that they were not going to believe in his Son as well? Why would he condemn all of his creations to Hell just because they don’t believe he exists. Is he angry at them? Is it THEIR FAULT for not believing in Him? Maybe he could show himself, but he only did THAT a handful of times, to a handful of people who already believed in him in the first place, or knew of him anyways. What about the ancient egyptians? They had never even HEARD of God before. Were THEY all sent to hell? Surely if God were the single surpreme God, and He created the universe and everything within it, he would have come into known existance WAY before the rise of Judaism.

4. In the Bible it says that men are created in the likliness of God. Men are weak and easily killed. I understand that we have a different mentality than God, but God himself from what we have heard seems weak himself. Vengeful, Jealous, Conditional, Violent, Bloodthirsty, Untrusting, Strict. And if our bodies are similar to the body of God, why are we so easily broken and struck down? If God is all loving then why did he create people who live such harsh lives? I understand that it makes them humble, makes them stronger, but what about homosexuals? Homosexuality, it has been said, is a MORTAL SIN OF LUST. But He created them that way. He KNEW they would be that way. So why would he do that? Maybe they do become humbled by the harshness of their lives. Maybe they are devout Christians, who submit to God completely. They are still mortal sinners. They can not be saved. Why would he create so many conditions, so much black and white to be acchieved by someone who is unable to reach such strict standards? Someone HE CREATED for a purpose. Was their purpose to be sent to Hell? To be seen as entertainment to God, just as a dying bird is seen as entertainment to a cruel child? Is God nothing more than a cruel child? How then, can he be the Loving, Forgiving, God that he is portrayed as being in the Bible?

5. Watching MANY programs on the Catholic channel, on the History channel, religious scholors, and nuns, and priests, they all agree that in order to be loved by God the way all humans should be, that we must rid ourselves of our own thoughts, our own opinions, our WILLS. How can the God who created us as we are, expect us to give away the very things that make us HUMAN? Our world STRIVES for individuality. It encourages open minds, and opinions, and free thinking, yet God can not love us completely if we are who we are, if we are human. Why would he create so many UNACHIEVABLE rules, expectations, and conditions. Why would he love us if he knew how weak we are? Why would he create us as something he hates, if not to simply watch us try and suffer? I do not disagree that this God is a higher being. That there has been some evidence of His existance. But he is far too human to be the creator of the universe. He is too cruel and childish to have created us with “love”. Our God is young. He is cocky, arrogent. He is too focused on the faith of his followers, to have created the entire human race, who did not believe in his existance until THOUSANDS of years after humans sprung into being. God looks at us, as we look at the gladiator fighting for his life, fighting for our eternal soul. Are we truely “loved” by this God? Or are we merely entertainment to be had until He grows bored and another god takes his place?

Any Feminists who decide to read this post, please leave now, because you will want to stab me with a fire poker if you don’t.

The purpose of the woman is clear. They are made for sex.

This has nothing to do with society and it’s seemingly unending patriarchy, nor does it stem from my own feminine insecurities. I merely observed nature in any form I could, and what I found was that sex is the most prevelent, most powerful tool any female creature has ever obtained.

One of the single oldest occupations is prostitution. Society deems it wrong, and immoral, and a waste of the female body, but It has never ceased to end, nor has it lost any profits over the last few thousand years.

Insects live in a matriarchal society, where the female is all powerful. Yet her only job is to create more of her kind. As any female is meant to do. A black widdow spider is terrible, in that she mates with and then kills her husband. Does this mean that it is the MALE spider who is made purely for sex. No, no it is not. If a male black widdow is not chosen to be a mate, then his purpose is merely to servive, yet if a female does not chose her mate then she will fail to reproduce, and less and less spiders will be born- WHICH MEANS that no matter how powerful she is, her life revolves around having sex and procreating.

Woman have a uterus, because it is the female duty to bear children. We have a hymen because once we lose it, it is a sign to the rest of society that we have at least attempted to complete our purpose.

Without looking at anything else, if you knew nothing about sociology, zoology, or anything but the human body, then you could safely say that women are made for sex. Not because of their wombs, for some women can not reproduce. Not for their breasts which produce milk for young, because the hormones arent ovarian, but pituitary, so she could give milk without having a child at all! No, if you want to prove my theory on your own, look only at the wonder of the clitoris.

The clitoris has no purpose. It is a cluster of erectile cells that serve NO other purpose but to arouse the female body. It does not ASSIST in arousing, it is not a device used to produce lubrication for vaginal intercourse necessary to concieve a child, it merely pleasures.

Any woman can have acchieve an orgasm merely by stimulating her clitoris. She can do so herself, a man can do it, a woman can do it- the appendage has no part in procreation, but pleasure. Just sex. Pure, fun, dirty, sex is the sole purpose of this beauty.

Why would a creature need such an appendage if she were made for anything more?

Yes, a woman can acchieve great things.

Yes, everyone has a destiny to do SOMETHING with their lives.

Yes, many women chose to remain celibate.

However, none of this has anything to do with the creation of her BODY. A body which is made to pleasure.

A man reaches his sexual peak at the age of 17. Peak meaning that it gets better and better from 12 to 17, and afterwards its just not what it used to be.

A WOMAN reaches her sexual peak at age 30. From 12 to 30 her performence, her libido gets better, more powerful.

Women, for providing men with mind blowing sexual experiences for as long as they’ve been able to say “please”.

So, I just ate at Golden Corral, which, if you live in the midwest, you know what I’m talking about. But, as I found out a couple weeks ago, my body simply can’t take poor quality of food. Now not only was the food mediocre at best, but there were different TYPES of food there. I dont know if you understand what that means, but imagine a farm party: lots of different pills (or in this case, food) and if you take JUST the right kind of pill and then JUST the right kind of other pill, your body will reject the meds and you will die. The same applies with this. Golden Corral is like the place where rescipes of beloved american favorites come to die and then bake for hours under a heat lamp, poked by lots of fat people and unsanitary little children a mere metre away from foods it probably shouldnt be in the same building with. Just imagine this and tell me if you dont want to throw up. About half the size of Walgreens, SWARMING with people who probably dont all wash their hands after they shit, food just sitting out for everyone to touch, getting spilled and slopped in other food that it shouldn’t be mixing with, bussers who didn’t properly wash the plate you just ate off of, and to top it all of, there are probably rodents crawling around within the walls.
Right now there is poorly made american food, sitting, undigested in my stomach, and I want to puke, and I still can’t get the taste of enchelada out of my mouth. Really it was only cheese but i couldn’t tell what was the tortilla and what was the cheese, and the texture just felt WRONG. In fact, the only redeaming quality of the whole restaurant, was that it had a fairly decent desert island.
All of that brings me to this question: How in the FUCK did America come to tolerate such HORRIBLE FUCKING FOOD?! Burgers DRIPPING with grease, cooked by teenagers who probably wanked off in the bathroom as their shift was starting; mushy fries with half a pound of salt poored on and inadequately distributed amongst; tacos with products probably imported from some warehouse in Mexico after they couldn’t sell the shit to fuckin’ MEXICANS; grease drenched, fried, horse shit with a gritty layer of cheap table salt piled way too high on a colorful plate has somehow become a dietary staple in the life of the average American. Hell the SALADS we eat nowadays, are just as good as one of those cheap McDonalds burgers, with all the fuckin dressings and crutons on most of ‘em.
Really, it’s no wonder this country is so morbidly overweight, with the outrageously poor quality of food we eat. And with how most of out citizens cant afford to BUY a decent piece of fuit, it’s amazing how foreigners chose HERE to move to for freedom! People are mean, the streets are dirty, the food is made in dumpsters, health care is for the college graduated, rich kids who had the money for college in the first place- hell I was born here, and I want to move!
“We might be a country of uneducated trailor trash, but hey! at least we have fried chicken!”

All beings capable of acting and/or making descisions, are affected by one or all of the following factors:
What we know,
the actions and descisions of those around us,
and the random, unpredictable events of the world.
Lets say, for example, that a boy got held after class to talk to his teacher. The boy leaves school and begins walking home, but suddenly it begins raining hard, and the wind ends up blowing him right into a car who had also lost control due to the storm. The boy ends up dying in this accident, affecting his entire family, and the friends and family thereof, and the same happens to the driver, who rather then dying, ended up injured and in the hospital. The driver and his family have to pay for damages done to the boy, and decide to help with the funeral costs.
Lets say that a girl at the same time of the accident, wanted to cross the street to go home. However when she sees the accident she decides to call the police, and ends up getting home half an hour late, which in turn makes her parents worry and get angery at her for staying out late in the first place. So now she tells all her friends about the incident, which affects them, and everyone they come in contact with.
Do you see how that one descision that the teacher made to keep the student after class, had such a broad effect on so many people?
This is the butterfly effect, meaning that every descision made by every person, has the potential to affect some person accross the world whom the original maker of the original descision has never before met.
Every descision made by every person was an effect of the three factors listed above.
If the teacher had known that it would rain later on, he likely wouldn’t have kept the student so long.
If the boy hadn’t done what he did to get in trouble, the teacher wouln’t have made the descision to keep him.
The extreme wind was an unknown variable that ended up affectig the boy,the driver, the girl, and everyone associated with all of them.
Everyone is affected by this.
Rain drives a housefly into a mans house. (unknown variable)
The fly did not know how the man would react to the presence of the fly. (knowlage)
And the fly decides to move out of the way when he notices that the man tries to squash him. (interferrence)
Even an omnipicent being would be affected by these things.
If he knows where every rock, where every blade of grass is, when every wind will blow, how everyone else will react, he will make all the right decisions. But he still had that crucial knowlage that drove him to make each decision.
Oddly enough, this entire idea came to me as I was debating with a classmate of mine (whom we will refer to as Jennifer, despite him being a boy) about the logical and illogical decisions of humans.
The conversation was, that I like yaoi (boysex stories), and he didn’t. My reply was that “all of you should die.” By that I meant, the “him” in every alternate demention.
He said “What if one of the me’s in another demention likes yaoi?”
I don’t care, while that would be counterproductive to the cause of yaoi fanfictions, it would prove a point.
He replied with “But what if all his friends saw him get killed and decided to stop reading yaoi, then you would lose readers”
This is what lead to the idea.
He was assuming that the friends knew that he was killed for his yaoi *which he wasnt*. While that seems logical, they would not know that, and would have to (to make it completely fair and logical) stop doing everything that he had done. Buying, eating, having sex- society would end.
Human nature is not an unchanging, theory based, mathematical equasion, it is fueled by greed, chance, knowlage, and the descisions of others. Not by perfect theory.
Otherwise we would be robots.

OK, so this blog post has very little to do with sex.. ha!

Basically, because I want to be a mommy so bad, I tend to learn a lot about child development and baby-making in general.

This is just what I learned.

DID YOU KNOW:
It is actually VERY important that that WOMAN cum during the baby-making. When a woman has an orgasm, it opens the uterus, which allows the sperm to get to the egg which needs to be fertilized in order to produce offspring. Women who have trouble coming during sex are advised to think of OTHER PEOPLE while copulating so to better stimulate them into having an orgasm, thereby insuring that the child is conceived.

DID YOU KNOW:
When two mixed people- providing that they are the same mixed races, i.e. half white/half black, they CAN actually have a child completely white/black. If you think, this actually makes sense. Put the races into the hereditary punnit square and you see that there is actually 50% that the child will turn up fully one race.

DID YOU KNOW:
IT IS ACTUALLY POSSIBLE for a woman to have twins with TWO DIFFERENT FATHERS!! Yeah, I know, but my German teacher knew a girl who had twins, and one was white, while the other was mixed. My teacher asked about it, turned out that she had a threesome. She was white, and her partners were a white guy and a black guy… Different colored twins. Yeah, I know.

DID YOU KNOW:
If you talk to baby in the womb, or shine a flashlight on the tummy from a close distance, the baby will be intrigued and stay up as long as possible, which ensures that he/she will sleep more, and be less restless at night.

DID YOU KNOW:
Common myths to show the sex of your baby include peeing in a cup of Draino, or holding a pencil-on-a-string over the tummy. According to myth *I don’t know if they are true or not*, the hormones in the urine, combined with Draino turn the contents of the glass blue if it’s a boy, and black if it’s a girl. Also, if you tie a pencil/wedding band/needle/etc to a string then hang it above your belly while standing still then you can tell the sex depending on how the object moves. If the band moves in a circular motion it’s a girl, if it moves in a pendulum motion it’s a boy. Even though you’re staying still, your hand still moves in very light tremors; the pattern apparently shows the gender of the baby.

DID YOU KNOW:
If the mother gets stressed a lot during pregnancy, the baby may grow up to have an anxiety problem later in life. Also, if the mother, or the surroundings are stressful, then the fetus may get restless. This is true even if the baby is unable to sense his/her surroundings through sound and stuff; the stress in the mother affect the baby as early as 17 weeks in.

DID YOU KNOW:
ANY kind of music stimulates brain activity in the baby. Classical, Rock, Punk, Pop, whatever, if the baby can hear it it will stimulate the brain, making it easier for the baby to learn things once out of the womb. This is usually only said about Classical music, but as it turns out, a child who, while in the womb listened to emo-punk music did NOT turn out retarded compared to the Mozart baby. Also, if a baby hears continuous sounds during pregnancy, then even into infancy it will recognize and respond to the sounds. Like, if you live by the freeway, and the baby, while developing, continuously hears the cars, then once the baby is born she will be more easily relaxed when listening to the familiar sound of traffic.

DID YOU KNOW:
Sex during the ninth month of pregnancy is ACTUALLY GOOD! It stimulates the cervix, which can help in inducing labor. The uterus is very strong, and the baby CAN NOT feel when you have sex..except, you know, for the bouncing around but, that’s normal. Baby can’t be hurt when having sex, so go out, and screw your pregnant wives! They’re probably REALLY horny right now! If not, then they’re feeling self conscious, and the attention will be greatly appreciated.

I’m sure there are more facts, but I’m kind of on a time schedule here so I’m gonna go ahead and stop, ha.
I hope you enjoyed my random baby facts.
Happy Pregnancy!!

OK, so, that title has nothing do to with my sexuality, amazingly enough. Although, I’m pretty sure I’m bi because of that..

Anyways, so what the title IS talking about is my star-sign.

I’m a Libra. Born Oct. 21. WHICH, by the way, is like 2 days away from being a Scorpio- which is what I USUALLY say I am. Libra is ruled by Venus. Scorpio is ruled by Mars and Pluto.

The combination tends to be lethal.

Assuming these two personalities are different people, let me explain to you what happens in my mind every day of the week:

Libra is open minded, social, sensitive, romantic, likes to express herself, while Scorpio is quiet, sturdy, possessive, over protective, and generally doesn’t express herself.

You can imagine. Since I am all of these things, you can see where I have trouble EXPRESSING MYSELF. Half of me wants to get everything off my chest, but that half, the Libra half, is buried inside of me, since I don’t live on Venus anymore. What generally controls me is Mars, my Scorpio side, who doesn’t want, nor know how to express my feelings. What this usually ends up leading to is that I go through and analyze myself and my feelings, but never actually voice them to anyone but me. I get pissed at both sides. One for talking to fucking much, and one for staying so closed up!

I’m also a bit confused about HOW I feel, not just about how I express it. While my Libra side is very sensitive, my Scorpio side is rather sturdy, and emotionally stable. This is actually a pretty good thing though, since my Scorpio side is the outer personality, it protects my sensitive Libra. So this means that you can only get me emotional on certain things that REALLY get to Libra, no matter how hard my shell is. Things like…love…and abandonment…

But it’s not like Libra is the damsel in distress or anything, she does an even more important job from the inside: Keeping the peace. Scorpio, while generally very shut- up when it comes to emotional shit, is actually very emotional and hot tempered herself. Which means that if you push too hard, I will make you bleed. Period. Physically or emotionally, I don’t much care.

Thankfully, since Libra dislikes conflict, she usually does her shit and calms me down. Which, actually, is pretty annoying ’cause sometimes I just REALLY want to punch someone in the face…

Love is kind of um, awesome for me though. Since I’m both very romantic and cuddly, while at the same time very possessive and over protective, I can pretty much cover all the bases with this. Plus my boyfriend slash fiancé is a Leo, which is REALLY good since he’s very compatible with both my personalities.

When it comes to Scorpio and Leo we’re both pretty stubborn and inflexible. Luckily we don’t argue about anything, and the only time either of us submit to the other is during sex, or when one of us needs to hear the voice or reason.

Which is often…

Also, even though Scorpio is demanding, she’s pretty subtle about exerting dominance and control- whereas Leo is more …blunt and outspoken. It kind of goes back to the whole expressing myself thing: it’s just hard for me to do.

However, I’m getting over this, slowly but surely. To that, I give him thanks.

Now with Libra and Leo it’s a little different.

Still on the Leo is very blunt subject, ha, Libra also has a little bit of trouble with that. While she loves establishing an honest, open relationship, the abrasiveness kind of gets to her. Doesn’t bother her, so much as she can’t respond to it well.

Other then that Libra and Leo are very much alike. Common interests and attitudes make us very compatible.

Both of us; me with my bi-zodiac-ness, and him with his Leo; are very loyal people, which cuts down on any and all chance for infidelity or abandonment from both parties. We’re both very emotional and opinionated which is always fun- or at the least it doesn’t bother either of us when the other wants to bitch, ha!

All in all, despite my contradicting personality traits, I think I chose the right partner- since he’s both outstandingly compatible and attracted to me, as am I to him, I think when we get married we’ll have an excellent relationship. Far better then anyone else I’ve met, anyways.

So, while I get a bit irritated at myself sometimes, I can’t help but to be thankful for both of my signs since they give me, at the least, some balance.

So thank you, me.

Why you’re welcome, thank you too, me.

So, as you know, I enjoy analyzing my every thought and feeling. Yeah, fucking irritating, I know.

But anyway; I was recently asked “Why do you feel inadequate when I am the one who gets upset? It’s not like it’s your fault!”

Then I thought, ‘why do I feel that way?’. I tried explaining it in my mind and didn’t come up with any good answer.
Then, out of nowhere, I compared myself to what I felt was a good example of my feelings on the subject.

“I’m acting like an over protective mother…” was what I thought.

Ding!

And that’s when I realized that that was why I feel the way I do so often!

Let me give you an example.

When my boyfriend, or just a close friend of mine gets upset depressed, or self loathing, or whatever, immediately I get upset. I feel inadequate, not good enough…a failure, for all intents and purposes.
The reason why i feel this way, I discovered, is that whenever anyone close to me gets upset, I immediately switch to mommy mode.

Have you ever gotten bullied or something and told your mom, and then later heard her cry in her room because of it? Well now I know why that is:

Whenever your child gets hurt like that, you get overprotective, and these feelings of inadequacy take you over. Like it’s your fault that your baby got upset, because you weren’t able to protect them. You weren’t there to stop it from happening. And that’s all you want. Being a mother means going out of your way to protect you child from things that can hurt them. So whenever they do actually get hurt, it’s your fault because you weren’t able to shield them from that. At least, that’s how I feel most of the time.

Now, I go mommy for other reasons too. If someone is just plain upset, or angry, I go mommy too. I’ll calm them down, go all affectionate, do what needs to be done to fix the problem; whatever it may be.

This irritates some of my friends actually, when I do this. ‘Cause I call them weird pet names, like “sweetie” or whatever..They don’t seem to like that.

It kind of worries me…

For example, I read in a porno once (yes, I’m quoting porn now, ’cause that’s related to maternalism…seriously, it is..), and it said this:

***Biology Vocab***
01: “And what are these?”
02: “Breasts”
01: “What is their purpose?”
02: “Feeding! They’re for feeding offspring”
01: “So a woman must have a child for them to produce milk?”
02: “No, the hormones there aren’t ovarian, they’re pituitary. If stimulated enough, any woman’s breasts may eventually give milk.”
*****************

Ha, that was fun..

Anyways, so after going over that in my mind, I thought ‘Well I certainly go mommy a lot, would that be pituitary stimulation? Could I just randomly produce milk one of these days?”

That would suck…

Don’t your breasts go all tender and shit when you breastfeed? Not to mention they’ll be leaking milk…as if that wouldn’t be irritating enough…unless like, you’re actually breastfeeding. ‘Cause that’s totally different. That’s to feed your offspring.

But anyways, that just sounds like it would suck if it happened.

Whatever, the two things probably have nothing to do with each other, ha.

Anyways, so obviously I want to be a mommy someday. I want my first baby when I’m 22. ‘Cause I’m that cool…

…Don’t judge me!

*sniffle*

Now you’ve got me all emotional! Way to go!

Asshole…

…

Sorry, you know I don’t mean that!

Have you ever heard someone talk, and instantly get confused when they use a term you don’t understand because they probably made it up? Well I haven’t, but people listening to me have.
So this blog entry is for those people. Those poor souls who, upon listening to me, get outrageously confused when I use odd terms that they’ve never head before. My odd terms. Odd terms that have meanings only to me and people who hear them repeatedly.
This is the Grammarful Dictionary of Kiwi. (I’m Kiwi btw, just to let you know)

***

Grammarful: Gram-mar-ful (Grahm-are-full)
-adjective
1.) To make fun of one who excessively uses proper grammar.
Ex: Augusta- And if you aint got none then you need to pick one up.
Kiwi- You can’t use the phrase ‘aint got none’. It’s a double negative.
Augusta- …Well! Aren’t you grammarful!?
2.) To sarcastically remark on one who excessively uses poor grammar.
Ex: Mark- Gonna unlock the key…
Kiwi- Really? You’re gonna unlock the key? Wow you’re grammarful today!

-

Ish: I-sh (ih-sh)
-adjective
-suffix
1. suffix) Commonly used ungrammatical suffix to indicate that the adjective in the sentence is only partially correct.
Ex: Kiwi- Eh, it’s goodish. *meaning that it’s OK, not necessarily good*
2. adj.) An adjective used by itself, to indicate that the adjective in the previous sentence is only partially correct.
Ex: Jon- How are you? *in context meaning ‘are you good?’, adj being good*
Kiwi- Eh, ish. *meaning ‘I’m ok, but not necessarily good*

-

Chuu: Ch-u-u *Ch-oo-oo* (extended ‘oo’ sound)
-interjection
1.) An interjection used to describe most feelings, such as those of general dissatisfaction(1), boredom(2), indecisiveness(3), mind numbing pleasure(4), and randomness(5).
Ex(1): Kiwi- Chuu! I’m so cold!
(2): Kiwi- *sitting on the computer with nothing to do* Chuu…
(3): Kiwi- *choosing something off a list* …Chuu. Do, do do, do…
(4): Kiwi- *in the midst of sex, unable to think* Chuu…!
(5): Kiwi- *while spontaneously hugging her friend* Chuu!

-

Lookit- Loo-k-it *looh-kiht*
-verb, command (compound word)
1.) a compound word combining the words ‘look at it’ into one word
2.) a verb/command meaning ‘look’ and/or ‘look at this’
Ex: Kiwi- *pointing* Hey, lookit! A giraffe!

-

Checkit- Ch-eck-it *cheh-k-ih-t*
-verb, command (compound word)
1.) a compound word combining the words ‘check it out’ leaving out the ‘out’.
1.) a verb/command meaning ‘check it out’
Ex: Kiwi- Checkit! I gots boobs!

-

Howssit- H-ows-si-t *hows-iht*
-compound word/phrase
1. a compound word meaning ‘how’s it going?’ Used as an informal greeting.
Ex: Kiwi- Hey, Chris. Howssit?

***

And there you have it. The incomplete dictionary of kiwi. Yes you may use these words. In fact, I encourage it!

Go.

Go now, and use the amazingly grammarful words you just learned and confuse all your friends. Then they can be grammarful too! And we can all live in a great big world of grammarfulness!

I love vampires.

The unearthly beauty of them just GETS me, ya know?

But DAMN! Ya think the Twilight movie could get anymore publicity? I mean JESUS CHRIST! And the cast disgusts me! Vampires are like GODS, get actors to fulfill that description!

Now I have nothing against the series itself; in fact, I kind of LIKE it! However when hundreds of thousands of teenage girls ALL OVER THE WORLD are drooling all over the movie, I just feel that it’s a little too publicized. Like a hooker- been seen and done by so many people, I’m afraid that if I see it I’ll catch some weird fan-transmitted disease!

Now, granted, I’m not free of the Twilight fan base completely. I have to admit that I am patiently waiting for the new book to become available. Also, because Stephanie Meyer is such a good writer, she inspired me to start my own vampire story- the plot of which, I’m actually kind of proud of. Not to mention it’s pretty historically accurate. However, in MY story, I have taken the liberty of disproving just about every over-used, gay ass, cliché vampire myth out there.

I’m pretty proud of this.

But, you know, in general movies based off movies just plain suck, and the previews *disregarding for the moment my hatred of the cast* look like shit. This usually happens with movies based off best selling books. Except for the John Dies at the End movie. It’s coming out in like 2010, and I’m SURE it will be gay as fuck, but since it’s based of JDatE, it really can’t be that bad ’cause really? How do you fuck up a book that already is claimed to leak baby blood and cause unnatural deaths and disasters?

The Twilight movie is not so lucky. It is going to disappoint me, I know it. The reason I talk as if I’m going to see this piece of shit, is because my friend- who happens to be a total, die hard Twilight fan- is probably going to drag me to the movie. I said I’d go watch it with her. But I’ll cry when I get home, then come blog about how much I hated it. So, all in all, I think the point of this entry is this:

Twilight and it’s movie can lick my proverbial balls and SUCK IT!

I’m really bored, and I don’t know what to write about, so like all stereotypical teenage girls, I’m planning out my entire life.
Here’s what I got so far:
Graduate high school- become fluent in French and German *four years is good for me*, write books One and Two in my vampire series *which you can find on Webook.com under Caoimhe the Demon Queen*, Move to San Jose.

College- Take Japanese, Mandarin Chinese, Spanish, Arabic, Gaelic, Latin, Russian; psychology, mythology, and physics. Have a baby at 22*Twins, Cian Hunter and Shaun Maitiú*, Get married September 17, 1216, Get a masters.

After College*pipe dream*- Move to some other country *New Zealand, England, Ireland…* and become a Theoretical Physicist, Novelist, and Translator. GOD, I’ll make fuckin’ BANK! At 25 have my third child *Kayleigh Ryann* and at 28 have my fourth *Tristan Kane*

At some point I want to go visit my aunt *hopefully when im 22 and preggers*, just to bother her. I want to act like an immature teenager, who isn’t ready for a baby, and at the same time let her know that I’m doing way better then she could ever become. Just ’cause I’m a bitch and she’s a goody-goody bible pusher. It makes me giggle.

I also want to see my uncle, and argue with him about the same thing…and punch him in the face.

Him and my cousin, ’cause that would be fun.

I hate girls named Hailey. Bitches, all of em, I’m tellin’ ya. No offense if your name is Hailey…actually never mind. I mean that offensively.

…

Whore.